Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Who has experienced what they called a happy accident (bestiality)?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

What are the strangest parts of The Bible?

Be who you already are.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

I was tired of fighting.

If I get served by someone else's papers, am I legally required to inform the person that they got served, or the court that they served the wrong person?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Do you think it is likely that Maegor was presented a young dragon at some point, almost to the point of full-bonding, only to scorn it for Balerion in the end? If so, which one could it have been?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

And the sadness?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Why do atheists demand that everyone must accept their own self-definition? Is that any different from demanding others must accept their choice among 87 genders or be labeled as a bigot?

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

You are like me, then.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

What is the best way to keep my vagina clean and fresh?

The sadness was still there.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Why are most people broke?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

I had run out of hope.

It’s still here.

What is a good habit and what is bad one?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Why do people stay in cults after they have joined?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.